Men are not really relational and it helps to get what rules they live by, of course they do not discuss them but it is get to get their Secret Doctrine.

The International Council of Man Laws.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss’s car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.

4: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.

7: In the TAXI, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

9: You may f@rt in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she’s officially your girlfriend.

10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach … and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.

11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to deliberately kick another guy in the nuts.

12: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

13: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

14: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.

15: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.

18: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.

19: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding love pending your response.

20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

Read Also

weird concepts

stumble

TMZ has all the pictures, bormally all the blogs steal each others pictures but made sure that their pictures were not going to be stolen.

There is an infamous story of Suge Knight the owner of Death Row records hanging vanilla Ice of a window demanding the copyrights to his hit record. I do not know if this story is apocryphal but there was a lot of these myths around Suge knight and Tupac Shakur.

We all know how gangster rap deteriorated and claimed the lives of Tupac and the Notorious B.I.G. . But there was a time everyone was scared of Suge Knight no matter what they say now.

Then came the Barber and just dimmed the lights on Suge Knight and became an instant hero.

Look at these images, it is women who help out Suge Knight up but what about his entourage? When they saw how badly their Goliath was pulverised, they disappeared. Is it just male and least the females wanted to get him to hospital?

It is amazing that everyone you meet is glad that the chicken have come home to roost for Suge Knight. To all you would be bullies let this be a lesson there is a punch made especially for you out there. You might win a few fights but sooner or later you will be knocked out cold yourself.

To all you bloggers Suge Knight will be back and looking for those who made fun of him. But you have to say there is a sense of justice with him being knocked out cold and he decided to have a nap.

Stumble

                                                                                                  FAIL

Please explain this to me? If a gangster rapper was telling me he was romancing a man yesterday, I would not think he was much of a thug.

Related to:

Sense Of Humour

Stumble It

There is a woman who claimed that Paris Hilton stole her look and tried to sue her for look theft, which is past being weird. Just think about it? Dear, fashion is theft, the models all want to show you the looks which are in vogue in the hope that you will steal their looks,by buying in a shop. comprehendo!

Diets are another area of unalloyed mindlessness, I laugh every time I here of a new diet in town. There was something called the Atkin’s Diet which gave you a bad breath. It will give you that if you are only eating proteins. The body is telling you to wake up and smell ( literally) the coffee, please start eating a more balanced diet.

These are some of the diets which are rumoured to work.

-banana diet,
-hotdog diet,
-cabbage soup diet,
-carrot diet,
-radish diet,
-popcorn diet.

I think they only work because you would lose interest in eating, cabbage soup diet! How long can you eat that junk before you stop eating all together?

Stuff gilrls like wants to patent this ultimate diet.

1) Eat less

2) Exercise more.

My lawyers are drawing copyrights on this here diet and I am ready to sue, if anyone publish it anywhere else. The logic is very simple, if the body does not burn the energy from the food, it becomes fat. Now if you can burn the fat and you are not consuming food to make up for the fat, you lose weight.

I have done it, I have given you the golden rule, so no other diets are necessary but will women heed my message? Of course not, sooner or later you will hear of a chips diet, why not given there is a hot dog diet?

Related
superficial/

It is a wonder they are a hit with this sort of stuff being recorded.

The appeal is simple, you can unwind watching these four minute videos and have a chuckle.

Plus you can make you own very easily, with these videos everyone can be a star.

This is the glorious time of year, It is filled with so much promise and flowers start blooming, everyone mood start to noticeably improve because the sun is out. The day time hours increase 3:45 pm sunset to 8 pm if you are Europe. Winter coats are replaced by sports Jackets and sunglases, things can only get better.

But spring also brings the madness out of men, they become very keen to please, those with sporty cars suddenly drive with their rooftops folded, yes they had been freezing all winter long but now it is time to be seen and Just to make sure, the music has be loud.

There are certain street which become suddenly packed with all sorts of people who need to be seen, posers. Bikers are to be suddenly have to show their Harley Davidson’s, Parks are now full of skaters showing their bulging muscles which have grown with a little help of supplements and in many cases steriods.

At this time of year it helps to live next to a beach or a park then you will see the freaks and showmen who are out to take money from tourists because they are out with the camera and videos.

With all the posers and muscle heads, you could think this is a bad time of year but if you cannot appreciate spring, well you must be tired of life.

The above is a brilliant political sketch which is very British.

Most men would not tell this story to women because it offended:

as woman raped on telephone?

TUNIS, Tunisia, April 27 — A Tunisian family alleges their daughter was raped during a telephone conversation with a man, a lawyer for the family said.

The 30-year-old man said he never touched the young woman. But he acknowledged he heard her scream while they were “totally into” an erotic telephone conversation — and that she reported bleeding, Al Arabiya reported.

Maha al-Metebaa, a lawyer representing the family, told the Kuwaiti newspaper Al-Qabs the case needs careful investigation because of its unprecedented allegations. He said a medical examination had determined that the woman, 20, was no longer a virgin.

“The intercourse did take place with all its details but verbally only,” he said. “The sexual act did not really happen because the physical proximity factor is not there, yet it happened because there is a direct physical impact – the loss of virginity.”

This will be easy to prove.

I know women who do get cartoons like Tom and Jerry but they do like a chuckle.

I heard the Lebron James was going to grace the cover of Vogue but man I never thought they would do that? To have him growling l on the cover was just not on and it created a storm. They must have know but all publicity is good publicity.

But how come making the cover is such a big deal? You never hear a man say, Johny Depp is on the cover of Gentleman’s Quaterly, I must go grab that issue. If you heard that from a man you might start wondering?

But fashion magazine have cleverly marketed the front cover to have a life on its own. You might be in fashion but unless you have been in the cover of Elle, you have not yet arrived.

But this is ridiculous, to be still talking that this is the first Black person in the front page of “name of magazine”is ridiculous. Maybe black people are not thin enough to be put on the cover , they  need bones alone, like Kate Moss.

I know that there is a lot which is made by celebrity blogs on who is appearing in what magazine cover and it shifts a lot of copies. Vogue has used the Lebron James controversy to announce that their European issue will feature Black models. Hooray!! why not American Vogue you may ask?

There is will not be an end of the public political relations of the fashion catty industry, just because fashion people are peculiar people.

 Imagine fashion as a personality, she would be a very old woman, who is interested in young girls influencing who are at least 5′10 inches tall, she herself is not married because she is interested in girly men friends,  she smokes 60 cigarettes a day because it boost her image, her fridge has just of champagne because everytime she eats she has to go and throw it all up, she bares grudges with those who do not give her front seats in their shows, she has had more plastic surgery than Micheal Jackson, her best friend is Paris Hilton and Ivana Trump, she hates reading anything other than magazines, she hates children because what is the fun in them?, her favourite book is Rock Star by Jackie Collins, she managed to read the first ten pages.  She only looks twice at men who are billionaires like Adnan Khassoghi who was a billionaire when it meant something, she thinks it is too easy to be a billionaire these days.

Listening to all this you would think, this is a prospect for a mental breakdown and you would be right, the industry has no soul and more importantlly brains. Keep your your cover pages because a heroine addict has more going than you because you are really sadomasochists.  Keep the away from your my kids, the world does not need anymore weirdos.

Related To:

http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com/2008/04/24/the-superficial/

I appreciate a stumble.

They have always been around but they have been in and out of fashion.  No other shoe has lasted as long as the converse shoes.  When I grew up these shoes were appealing to gangsters that was in the ear especially if the were white and the were cleaned until they were radiant.

Fashion changed and they became neglected and the fashion was controlled by the Nike’s and Reeboks.  If you were a kid walking in any ghetto with these shoes, you risked being slapped around rather than being robbed just because they drew attention and were not hip.  Converse itself went for producing the big basketball shoes and was in vogue for a little while.

But when the public tired of the ever changing fashion in running shoes and fashion went back to the retro look, with companies like Addidas and Puma going back to their earlier editions, Converse turned around and saw that people were buying the shoes for ten dollars.  Then they started getting the shoes back into the department stores and selling them for five times the price.

The beauty is that they can use the classic design and you can apply all sorts of colours to attract girls to them, there was a time when you could get them only in black and white but you can put any colour on them,  Just this weekend I saw red ones with a shiny leather surface, it looked slick.

What does it say about the state of modern computer aided design and well paid designers when a company can be on its knees selling their products at $10 and they can turn around and see that retro is back in fashion, let us put a premium on the price and laugh all the way to the bank?  Even if fashion changes and they run into problems they can always sell the shoes for $10 again, my grandchildren will still be wearing Converse low top shoes.

Revenge is a dish best served … online

Vengeance websites are giving angry women the chance to expose their ex-partners as love rats. David Smith on the rising tide of ‘e-venge’